Normalizing Vulnerability | What I Don’t Know CAN Hurt Me
Vulnerability is the state in which one is at risk of potentially being attacked either physically or emotionally. We find ourselves most emotionally vulnerable when we express our feeling/emotions/thoughts about something to someone else. When we do this, we are risking rejection/objection/shame/humility. However, vulnerability is a double-edged sword, for through vulnerability we are also opening ourselves up to personal and interrelation growth. The benefits of manifesting vulnerability give us reason for normalizing vulnerability. However, do the benefits outweigh the risks??
Why is vulnerability so difficult?
The definition of vulnerability in itself states that we are opening ourselves up to the possibility of being hurt. So naturally, we want to keep ourselves protected so we choose to resist vulnerability.
Society has also impacted our views on vulnerability. Vulnerability tends to be looked at as weakness. And your awareness of this starts as a child. I’m sure you have heard the phrases throughout your life, such as:
Suck it up.
You’re okay.
Don’t worry. It’s not worth it.
Big girls/boys don’t cry.
Shake it off.
You’re better than that.
It’s fine.
Don’t be a baby/sissy/etc…
All of these phrases tell us that our problems are our own to deal with (and we should do so quickly and without emotion). And if we can’t, it is implied that we are weak.
However, we must ask ourselves, why are these phrases actually being used? Is it because our problems really are small and should be easily negated? Or, is it because our emotions make others uncomfortable?
As humans, we innately try to maintain a homeostatic environment. Meaning, we want everything to always just be “fine”. We want things to be “normal”. When they aren’t is when we tend to falter. We don’t know what to do and that makes us very uncomfortable.
When people around us are expressing serious feelings/emotions we start to get uneasy. Maybe we try to console them by twisting their situation into something positive. Or maybe we ignore it and just walk away… But whatever we choose to do, it is usually an attempt to make everything “okay” again. We also do it to make ourselves feel better.
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But what if I told you that being vulnerable could make us feel better?
When we allow ourselves or others to express emotions and enter a state of vulnerability there is opportunity for personal growth. By listening to others and trying to comprehend their state of mind RATHER than trying to stop or change their perspective, we can learn from them. The same is true when we express ourselves to others. By talking about our ideologies we are able to better understand our own psyche. These opportunities for growth and development help to satisfy our souls.
Therapy is probably the biggest example of this. The percentage of people suffering from anxiety and/or depression is on the rise. Research reflects a sizable increase in the amount of people currently in therapy. Therapy is a safe environment that allows us to be vulnerable. Clearly, talking about the things that cause us anxiety or that depress us is an effective form of treatment.
Normalizing Vulnerability
As a society we are making vast strides to the normalization of vulnerability. Great examples of this are our niche blogs, social media groups, and community programs. Reading a blog written by someone that has had similar experiences can be highly effective in showing you that you are not alone. The different social media groups for issues such as: infertility, adoptions, parenthood, learning/physical disabilities, etc… are great to cultivate a community of people experiencing the same thoughts/emotions. Community programs, such as Celebrate Recovery, which is a 12-step program for anyone suffering from any hurt, habit, pain, addiction, or hang up are wonderful for an in-person, group therapy-like session.
All of these tools are effective in uniting those of us that struggle with the same issues. As a collective community, we then feel safe enough to be vulnerable and express our thoughts and feelings. The knowledge and awareness that we obtain through talking, listening, relating, and processing all of our thoughts and feelings allows us to better understand, accept and love ourselves.
For our hurts and our wounds are not buried dead. They are buried alive. When they are buried alive, they tend to resurface as the face of anxiety, depression, addiction, etc…To avoid or alleviate our suffering we need to talk our pain to death. We can do this through allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. It is clear, noting the number of outlets that are already in place, that practicing vulnerability is effective for healing. That is a fairly substantial reason to believe that the benefits of normalizing vulnerability in fact do outweigh the risk.
#normalizevulnerability #wecannotgrowifwedonotknow #heretolisten #onlyHecanjudge
25 Comments
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Angeline Gormley
Thank you for having the courage to share this. Sharing vulnerabilities in my opinion helps us become more relatable to others.
Clarice
I have always admired people who are able to share their vulnerabilities. Admitting that you have a weakness and that you need help or you are not at your best is the most mature thing an individual can do in the age of IG and social media.
marjiemare
Thanks for sharing your post. My vulnerability has caused me more suffering, that’s why I kept the shield on all the times now.
Marysa
I never really thought about this perspective. It is good to normalize this and realize that we are human and it is ok to have emotions!
chiellabrate
Powerful! I wish we had these kind of blogging sites and social media growing up, being vulnerable was not a thing back in our day. Thank you for sharing!
Mich Ni
Nice post making people aware that being vulnerable is part of being human. Thank you for sharing this wonderful post.
vidya
thank you for this powerful post.. being vulnerable is hard and this post helps
Halimeh Salem
This is a unique blog post. I get how you see vulnerability and I love how you wrote about it.
Anosa Malanga
I learned to be silent and count one to ten before spilling any word whether I am sad or happy. This is to avoid releasing a word because I am so surprised or devastated.
Rosemary
Being vulnerable opens the door for empathy. This is so important and something I have been and currently working on. Great read!
Anitra
Really great post! Feelings should not be suppressed, they need to be addressed and dealt with in a healthy manner, normalizing our vulnerability.
Kathy
I’m so glad you shared this with us. I really love it. I really don’t think there is anything wrong with being vulnerable.
Beth
Being vulnerable doesn’t always result in pain, but it certainly can open the door to it. It can also lead to deeper connections and greater understanding.
monica young
I am very sensitive and vulnerable, although sometimes people think I am very strong. This is such a great post
Shelley King
I can identify with this article so much! A lot of my life I was told to suck it up! I think the Miranda Lambert’s Mommas Broken Heart is so true. Never let them see you cry! I have tried so hard not to raise my kids like this.
Adeina Anderson
This is great information. I do believe we grow from our pain. We have the ability to chose how we react to what happens to us.
Monica Simpson
This was interesting to read. I’ve never thought much if I allow myself to be vulnerable a lot.
Alyssa
There’s nothing bad about being vulnerable because it takes courage to open up to someone even after knowing that that person could hurt you. Glad to know there are programs for people to help them about this.
Rose Ann Sales
Super agree.. There are people that are so tough but we are all different individuals. Some of us should just let it out.
Nikki Wayne
I agree. It’s okay to show vulnerability sometimes. If that would help ease our pain.
Pam Wattenbarger
Being vulnerable can be hard because it’s so easy to get hurt. Thanks for sharing the resources too!
Amber Myers
I love this! Yes, we should always be vulnerable. If you’re acting strong all the time, it can be tough and draining.
Tammy
We learn so much from our hurts of life
Ben
I think it’s so hard for us to be vulnerable because the world can be hard. Unfortunately, we harden ourselves to make it easier to get through the world, but they really is a disservice to ourselves.