You’ll Always Be My Baby
My two-year-old doesn’t know her first name.
I don’t mean that she doesn’t recognize that she is being addressed when we say her name (Madison)- she does. It’s just that if you were to ask her what her name is, she will say, “I baby”. It’s partly our fault too. “Baby” is our term of endearment for her. However, now that we are adopting again and she is going to have a little sister, we have been trying to get her to embrace the idea that she is “a big girl” now.
It’s not going so well…
Every time we ask her if she is a big girl she says, “No, I baby!”
We are also working on potty training and want her to see diapers as “babyish” (babyish being a “bad” thing). So it had started to frustrate me that she wouldn’t latch onto the concept that she isn’t a baby anymore.
Until the night we left for the hospital…
Our birth mother was induced on Sunday night at 10pm. The COVID regulations at the hospital recently loosened up and we (my husband and I) were given a room at the start of induction. This meant that we had to leave our daughter with her Mamaw and Papaw for an undetermined number of days starting Sunday evening…
We had a plan. We were going to have a fun and busy last day as a family of three. No nap days usually lead to an early bedtime so we hoped that she would get so tired that we could get her to fall asleep before we left Mamaw’s house. However, Mamaw has all the best toys at her house so sleep was not going to happen!
A little after 9PM we had to leave. I changed her into her pajamas, got her some milk and her bed was ready. It was time to say goodbye. She was so confused… She jumped into my arms and kept repeating, “Car. Home. Bedtime.”. I explained to her what was happening again, but she wanted no part of trying to understand. She just wanted her usual routine.
It took everything in my being to put her down and allow her Mamaw to distract her as we walked out of the house and away from our little girl.
That’s when it hit me…
She isn’t going to the baby anymore. The center of my universe is going to have to share the spotlight from now on.
I burst out in tears in the car on the way to the hospital. Half because of the excitement of a second baby and a little sister for Madi and half because the “Madi and Mom Only” group is accepting a new member and I am the only one that truly understands that right now.
So as I sit here in the hospital, (at 12pm Monday 9/28/20 with the birth mom 6cm dilated and 90% effaced) I wanted to make sure that I documented my thoughts for my oldest daughter. Hopefully, in a couple years, she can read them and understand…
Dear Madi,
Soon we will no longer be,
A family of three.
You won’t love it right away,
There will be some jealousy,
But one thing I have learned,
There are pieces to your heart,
And when you share them with another,
They fuse together, not apart.
I never knew how much I’d love you,
Until I saw your sweet face,
Now that place in my heart is yours,
No other can replace.
I have a new spot for your sister,
It’s growing right there next to yours,
Your heart can do it too,
Crazy how much love it stores.
Your love for her will grow,
Just wait till you two can play,
I just have a feeling,
You’ll be inseparable someday.
But right now, while she is little,
She may just need me more,
But she will need you too,
That’s what big sisters are for.
She’ll need you to give her kisses,
When she falls and skins her knee,
And to go get her a bottle,
When she is getting hungry.
She’ll need you to teach her things,
Like how to walk, and run and play,
All the words to Baby Shark,
And how to get her way.
You will have a lot to do,
Big Sister is a responsibility.
But know that in my eyes and heart,
You will always be my baby.
33 Comments
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Monica
This is absolutely beautiful! Definitely forever our babies no matter how big they are
Erin
I got so emotional reading this! Such a beautiful post! It truly is the best thing adding a sibling!
Vidya
such a heartstring tugging read … incredibly sweet..
villainesteem6058
With a mom like you, she will be the best big sister there could be.
Sarah
What a beautiful post. It can be hard for kids to take on a sibling. My third was born in January and my son had a hard time for awhile but he’s getting used to her for sure. He kind of lives in his own world.
Anonymous
This was so beautifully written!
Gervin Khan
I totally understand that feeling that you felt because I’ve been there before, my eldest asked me to stayed at her room but need to leave her because I need to take care her little brother.
Mich Ni
I can feel you there as my four year old boy still wants me to call him baby. We are a family of three as of now and he doesn’t want any younger siblings yet. You’ve done a good job there in letting your baby girl understand little by little of having an additional family member. 💖
Anna
How beautiful and heart warming!! This has happened to me also where I sit back and think one day my little baby won’t be so little anymore and then I will grow and expand our family of 3 also.. I take in every moment with pictures and videos and I also set my phone down as well just to soak it all in. Congratulations on growing your family, best of wishes!!
mummageddon
This is such a lovely post and I totally understand I had the exact same feeling when I had my second. The last few weeks and that last day especially I really was mourning the trio that was.
Emily
Going from one child to two can be an overwhelming journey. It is crazy when you discover how much love you can have for more than one child.
heatherb2016
How sweet this post is. I remember going from a family of 3 to a family of 4 and trying to walk my toddler through that process. You did a beautiful job. Congratulations on your new sweet bundle!
Audrey
I love hearing about your motherhood journey. I know it’s an adjustment but she’s going to love having a sibling! It’s such an awesome blessing to have a sister!
Tasha
This is incredibly sweet. I know this “baby” will adapt to the new addition and internalize your love for her AND new baby in your family.
marjiemare
Aww, this post brings back sweet memories when my girls were little. Congrats on your new addition.
Alyssa
I’m not crying! Ok. Maybe I am. I remember this moment so vividly. I had a baby, adopted two older kids, and had another baby. On my way to the hospital to have my 4th child, I was still worried I wouldn’t have enough room in this big old heart of mine. I wish I had this to read back then, because you said it perfectly. The space is hers and always will be, and her sister’s is growing next to it. I’m so happy for you and your new addition. 🥰
Cheeia
Seriously they do grow sooooooo fast! I swear in a eye blink they go from being 2 months to 2 years. I cry everyday
Sarah Miller
This made me cry! <3 I have a letter that I wrote to my son on the morning of the day that his little sister was born. Someday I'll share it with him. I was so sad for him that his time as my only child was ending… but honestly, having a sibling has been so good for him. He has a best friend and watching them play together is one of the most amazing things I get to see.
Monica Simpson
“They fuse together not apart…” This was so beautiful and tugged at my heartstrings.
Melissa Constantinou
This was so incredibly sweet to read! You’re both so lucky to have each other!
Samantha Laycock
Congrats!! I call my 4-year-old baby still. She is always reminding me that she isn’t a baby and I always remind her that that isn’t why I call her that. No matter how big they get, they will always be our babies.
Naza
What a sweet article!
Puja Kumari
This is such a beautiful and heart-touching words for the daughter. I remember, my mother had given me one such emotional letter on my 10th and 18th Birthday.
Sonia Seivwright
I felt that! So beautiful. Made me squeeze my little girl close to me.
Marysa
Wonderful words about your family and your daughter. Always your baby!
Gina Abernathy
This is so sweet and beautiful! Yes, no matter how old your children are or how many children you may have–They will ALWAYS be your baby.
Ronald J Wilson
I cried!!!!!!
Monica
What a beautiful letter to your sweet girl! All such a blessing for your family. I’m sure she will be a fabulous big sister
Renee Lea Turner
You make me cry every time I read these! I couldn’t be more happy for your little family xoxox
Heidi Stinnett
Beautiful!